Crack Pairings Out the Wazoo

Once upon a time, there was a witch who lived in an old castle that had been redone and turned into a high class beach resort that once a year sent out reservation wafers to random people in hopes of getting some extra business. This annual event is due to a rumor of the witch haunting the new form of her old house. This haunting was said to have brought new couples together and tear current ones apart. They also brought very odd and unique couples together. The hotel manager, a local young woman who inherited the business from her grandfather, denies the haunting saying that it is merely "An illogically unsatisfied customer acting unreasonable for our supposed 'untimely service.'" With that statement she's held enough customers to continue to operate her family business. This year's letter for reservations read as follows:

"Dear sir and/or madame,

You have been formally invited to to a free three-week stay at our world-famous seaside hotel, Venus' Lagoon Retreat. We have many things to do here at this regal establishment. Everything from sitting on the beach at sunset to relaxing during a session of a massage. I sincerely hope to see you come and enjoy yourselves with a break from your busy and stressful lives. Attached to this letter are photos of a variety of things past guests have done as well as some of our other activities not mentioned in this letter. Along with these photos an informational brochure and our wafer for this event as well.

Sincerely,
Linda Johnson, Hotel Manager

And just as the letter said, there was a stack of roughly sixteen photos, a small brochure, and an ornate purple and yellow piece of paper with the the words "Venus' Lagoon Retreat's Annual Event" writing across the top.

"An invitation?!" BEN shouted, "To a party? Are they insane...?" He frowned with his teeth still showing, looking through the photos. His eyes only widened, staring at various pictures of pools, beaches... Were these people TAUNTING him?

Well, nonetheless, he was going to have none of it! His expression changed from an angry look to a sadistic smile. He vanished, locating the address printed on the brochure. 

---

DJ looked at the pretty lettering on the envelope, and got rather excited at the thought of a vacation... but she had no swimsuit for the occasion, since living by streams and dense trees didn't require a swimsuit. She packed her bags nonetheless and started her journey.

---

Willi and Decaldo looked at their invitations. Willi wasn't sure on how to read so he had to ask a few island inhabitant to read him the invitation.

"Wh!" She started, shocked, "A place like this and the boy can't even read...!"

"O-Oh... I can a-actually... read a s...sea chart j-just fine, m-ma'am..." Willi replied, shrinking after taking the purple envelope back.

"Filthy uneducated heathen!" The women screeched at Willi. He ran back to Decaldo and both jumped into their boat to get ready to sail out.

"Hey, forget what she said, pi..." Decaldo commented. "You're ok just the way you are, Willi!"

Jim packed his bags as fast as he could.  “I can’t believe this!  I can’t believe this!  A three week stay at a resort!  For free!” 

Robert crossed his arms and leaned against his brother’s doorway.  “I don’t know about this Jim.  This seems kind of shady.”

Jim pouted.  “This is because you think I can’t handle being on my own, isn’t it?”

“Well of course.”

“Don’t worry brother!  Toby got an invitation too!  So I’m sure I’ll be ok!”

A car horn honked outside.

The two brothers looked out the window.  In a taxi Toby was leaning over the driver’s seat and pushing down on the horn as hard as he could.

“Come on Jim!  I don’t want to keep the hotties waiting!”  Toby called.

“Hey!  Get back in your seat!”  The driver pushed Toby back.

Robert sighed.  “Just promise me you won’t blow the resort up.”

“I promise!”  Jim said with a smile.
______________
Hours later and Jim and Toby are getting closer to their destination.

“Are we there yet?”  Jim pestered.  “Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Arewethereyetarewethereyetarewethereyet?”

“For the love of Christ!  Shut up!”  Shouted the driver.

A few moments of silent passed.  Everything was quiet, peaceful.  The only sound was heard was the tires running along the road.  Until…

“ARE WE DEEEEERRRRE YEEEET?!”


The taxi screeched to a halt.

“YES!  WE’RE FINALLY HERE!”  The driver yelled tugging at his hair.

“Yaaaaaiiieeee!”  Cheered Jim with glee as he jumped out of the taxi and got the bags out while Toby paid the driver.

“Keep the change handsome.”  Toby said with a wink.

“This is going to be so great!”  Jim said.  “I hope I’ll meet a cute girl.” He added thoughtfully.

________________________________________________

Feels stood in front of the hotel resort, a bag in one hand and the invitation in the other.  He stared in awe as the marking on his head changed into “\o0o/”.

“Wow…it’s so big up close.”  Feels had never been to a place like this.  He scratched his stick-belly stomach.  “I hope I won’t be a bother to the other guests.”

He heard some people talking ways behind him and turned around.  He saw Jim and Toby.  “Hey…I think I’ve seen that blond-haired boy before…”  Feels thought for a moment, scratching his chin.  “Wasn’t he attacked by an angry cat?”

Volts looked at the invitation with some hesitation. It was fishy, to say the least. This could be a trap, and even if it wasn't... It's not like she could just drop everything to go. They were in the middle of a war, and the Glitches weren't going to stop messing up the worlds while she took a break!
But her hesitation broke when she saw the same invitation in CakeBEN's hands. He seemed excited.
So Volts pulled a few strings. Had someone else she trusted take charge of her duties while she was gone.

CakeBEN for the most part was excited, but he was also sad. Jad wouldn't be able to come with him... But he knew that he'd have a fun time with Volts, as two friends having fun. Plus, Volts needed the relaxation. She never got it anymore, really.

They both teleported to the address with some of their things, both excited.

It had been so long. So long since strings were pulled with Freeman and Combine. Too long. Though they were still being closely watched, they were not to be interfered with. Waiting for further instructions from employers proved to be useless. They had never confirmed nor denied continuation of the Freeman's contract, it was all so vague. It seems as if it was on a sort of... hiatus. (with how long it's been from Episode 2 to HL3 which is still in the making).

The employers called the... 'man', so to speak over, they showed the invitation, the photos, the brochures. They had said they had been keeping an eye on this place, apparently it is being haunted. The G-Man read it the invitation, looked over the brochures. What were they trying to tell him exactly? He took no vacations. There was no need for them.

No... you misunderstand, they said. It was then that the mysterious man smirked, instantly knowing what they meant. Others of all sorts would most likely be there as well, it could open an opportunity of sorts. New employees could be hired. The options were most interesting and the employers faded away, leaving the G-Man on his own to go on the venture. A doorway appeared in the dark endlessness that was surrounding him and he casually walked over to it. Briefcase in hand, he straightened his tie before entering the door...

---

A typical day in the marketplace had the area filled with potential customers, browsing around all the different types of shops around Castle Town. The Happy Mask Salesman always made sure to open up his shop and greet all customers with a smile on his face. Selling his 'happiness masks' to spread joy around the land always made him so happy, especially when he sold them in store. Seeing the smiles on customers' faces was his favorite thing. As a businessman, he has no problem with interacting with the shoppers and would not hesitate to answer any question they might have about any of his masks. Although he occasionally ended up going off on a big story, telling the origin of each mask, how he got it, when he got it, if he made it or not, and what kind of magic was involved with each. But each time he would always get interrupted and brought back to reality by rather impatient customers. Though telling stories to the children was much more fun. He loved when they were delighted with his stories, they were much more easier to impress.

It was the end of another day, and the Happy Mask Salesman was getting ready to close up shop. A full day of selling and lending out masks had him almost worn out, but smiling none the less. Business was doing well right now. It was just bustling! Then again, the marketplace was always full of shoppers during the light hours. He counted his earnings and packed his bags up for the night. Going out of the building and locking the shop up behind him, he started to make his way to wherever he pleased, when he was stopped.

"OOOOIIII!!!!!!" The Mail Man shouted as he was ran through the town in the dead of night. The salesman turned around to face the Mail Man.

“Hmmm?” Was this... a letter? For him? Oh! How strange though. It was odd for him to receive such personal letters. He read it. Such a pretty place! But... he couldn't take a day off from spreading happiness! Who would receive the masks? Surely this had to be a mistake but... he had an idea! He could hand out happy masks to the people resting there! Then he wouldn't feel so guilty about taking a day off. Now was the problem of getting there. Maybe if he went this way... took a turn here then went towards the area over there... He was sure he'd find it eventually.

---

One day Derpiny decided to check her mail when she saw the thing in the mail then she showed up to the island and was like “Shoulda brought a swim suit”. (I couldn't think of anything for her.)

---

The Base had not remembered the last time it went out to do something other than reap the souls of his enemies for his tamagotchi collection. It was cold, hungry, and yearning for adventure. It needed something, anything. When it got a mysterious letter. This would be so much better for the Base if it COULD READ!!!.... but anyway... It made a sort of choking horse noise as it licked the piece of paper. IT WAS PAPER!!! Paper was a rare object in its domain! It's coming. It will be coming to the resort. It will be there.

The Base is coming...

The Base is here...

Lucian read over the letter carefully. "The address isn't from Geidon." He mumbled. "And with these sort of services I think it'd be worth going." The red-head added

"Don't leave me Lucian! I don't wanna have to study all alone." Cethin pleaded.

"I won't." Lucian replied showing a second letter to his twin. "Because you're coming with." He added as four wisps brought two small suitcases packed with some clothes and other essentials. "Elise! Let Mother and Father know we're going to on a vacation! Be sure to have them send Julian for other stuff." He hollered before a tornado of wisps engulfed them and faded away.

It brought them inside the main plaza of the hotel where they were greeted by an ornate foyer that had a shallow jacuzzi-like tub in the center where people could soak their feet. The receptionists were dressed in more tropical clothing like warm colored v-neck t-shirts and Bermuda shorts. Some of the female employees wore sarongs over their shorts and wore floral crowns.

Then, after a few moments of everyone's arrival, a woman clad in a business suit with a fair tan walked out of her office. She had her black hair done up into a bun with several pens poking through it. She eyed the recent surge of guests and saw the wafers they held.

"Welcome!" She said with a proper bow. "I'm glad to see that everyone has come. I'm sure this had interrupted other plans you had made, but the hassle was well worth it. I'm Linda Johnson, the manager and owner of this hotel. If you have any questions or concerns, my office is just over by the restrooms. I urge you to not hesitate to approach me." She said pointing to a fair sized room just a little ways across the foyer. "I'll make sure you each get your rooms. The tickets have a room number on them, so I'll put them down as taken so you may find them. If you've any trouble, please ask myself or another employee for assistance. I hope you enjoy your stay." The tan young woman ended with another bow before swiftly returning to her office to punch in her new guests.

BEN looked ready to kill someone, and he was. "I'd love to know why I was summoned of all people..." He murmured angrily. He looked amongst the crowd. Who'd be his first victim...? He flinched. Was that Derpiny and DJ? They were here? A wave of relief crashed onto him. BEN eagerly hoped that one of them would be his roommate. He saw a girl nearby DJ. They were giving hints of intimacy. BEN's eyes squinted... He thought Derp and DJ were HIS friends...

---

DJ saw BEN and waved happily. "Hi!" She whispered. BEN frowned a bit, but smiled again and waved back. She chuckled, holding onto Voltz' hand.

---

Willi and Decaldo ran through the doors, quickly blending in with the crowd. They were late, mostly because if being unable to read a clock, and they didn't want to miss the party!

Cake was going to say hello to hisaloof other self when he stopped as his phone rang. He pulled it out, curious.

Tardis Calling...

Happiness rose up within him like a wave, and heedless to the people around him, he answered.

There was a second, a minute, a few minutes as Cake just stood there, the happiness draining from his toes and leaving him numb. A few tears gathered at his eyes.

"Don't leave me, I can't... I can't be alone... Not again..." He whispered into the phone.

There was a click.

And the phone fell to the ground, the battery separating from the phone's shell, the glass touchscreen cracking.

Cake just stood there, no one realizing just what had happened. Finally, Volts noticed and reached out and grabbed his hand, so she was holding DJ's and Cake's. She looked up and saw BEN staring at her. She was used to BENs staring at her, the one who's cartridge she usually kept in her back pocket liked to scare her with creepy faces and she was used to his ghostly stare-downs. So she stuck out her tounge at the BEN and went back to comforting Cake.

Jim's eye's widened when he saw Derp.  He felt his heart skip a beat.  "Er mer gersh Tobeh!"  He exclaimed, grabbing Toby's shoulder.  "It's the goddess!"

Toby just blinked.  "Who?"

"The one in blue!  I met her before on a space travel...and I can't remember what happened after that.  But I felt like we had some sort of...connection..."

"Well say hello to her."

"I can't!  What if something bad happens?"

Toby grabbed Jim's shoulders and turned him around so he could look into his eyes.  "Jim, I know you.  You're outgoing and you do unexpected things.  You'll be fine."

"You...you really think so?"

Toby laughed.  "With looks like yours, honey, I know so!  Now go get her!"

"Yeah!  I'm going for it!"  Jim said before licking his hand and used it to smooth his hair back before walking to Derp.

Toby nodded and put his hands in his pockets.  "Well, looks like I'd better get to my room.  Before I do some man hunting.  Tee-hee~"

__________________

Feels started to walk away from everyone when he suddenly bumped into something and he almost fell over.  The marking on his head changed into "?!".

"H-huh?!"  Feels exclaimed, catching himself.  He looked down to see what he had tripped on and saw the little Decaldo.  "Oh!  I'm sorry little one, are you ok?"

Decaldo nodded. "I'm ok!" He chirped. "No need to worry!" 

___________________

BEN looked around, going to the room he was assigned to.

Cake sniffed and leaned into Volts's frame as she looked at the papers. She looked at Cake's, then curiously looked at Dj's. "hey, you have the same room!" She exclaimed. She then patted Cake's head. "You'll be okay, DJ's fun to be around~" she smiled and hugged Dj. She then looked back at the retreating BEN. "I wonder who will bunk with him... Poor thing looks lonely!"

DJ frowned a bit, realizing she wasn't with Volts, but at least she'd still see her. She smiled and looked down to Cake!BEN. "Hi, there! Nice to meet you."

__________

BEN eyed Volts down. Perhaps he wasn't used to humans again. Why did DJ have another friend? That she was that INTIMATE with? The thought made him shudder. Maybe he'd get some answers over his stay. After realizing the door was locked by the keyhole on the knob, he sighed and raised his voice. "If you have the key, it'd be nice to use it now," He said to Volts.