Don't you hate it when...

Don't you hate it when elf kids in green hats muck up your absolutely brilliant plan? I mean, how the hell are you supposed to fulfill your destiny as future ruler of ANYTHING when every time you turn around there's another green hat sitting there with a magic sword opposing you?
I mean come on! I can't even stop into Hyule Market long enough to get a tropical banana-mango smoothie with out getting a light arrow in the ass!

You know what else I also hate? Sages! What good are they? It's like they exist for the sole purpose of sealing you away RIGHT after you finally get somewhere!? Here! Why don't you make your bearded old asses useful and go seal away that casserole I made the other night before it goes bad! Then you might actually be more useful than just sitting around for a hundred years waiting at my door for me to step out side so you can just push me back in and lock the door in my face!


And god forbid those bratty princesses that don't know how to keep their mouths shut, ALWAYS seem to have or be the final key to victory! Oh, no big deal. I'll just lock her in the dungeon where I don't have to listen to her...what's that? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE WAS RESCUED! Ok ok ok, we'll get her back and I'll just keep her in here with me! Sounds like a good idea until I remember her incessant chatter was why I locked her down there to begin with!

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MAGIC SWORDS!

I completely understand. I just wanted to revive my master in peace, but of course the sky Maiden has to be friends with the hero. It would be too hard for Link to give a damn if she was just some random sky bumpkin, and too easy for me to just snatch her up.

And I also hate the asinine hairstyles of the people in the sky as well! Just the other day I saw a stout young man who's hair was slicked so it was pointing skyward! Want to know what else was going up when I saw his hair? My lunch. It was a very nice lunch too, and I swear I could taste it again when I saw him. Ugh. I'm glad that I didn't run into any other sky folk, or else I probably would have fainted, if they wore their hair in such an appalling manner like that young man did.

Now that I think about it, Ganondorf, you look an awful lot like that fellow with pointy red hair...

Ganondorf64 wrote:Don't you hate it when elf kids in green hats muck up your absolutely brilliant plan?

I hear you. It's very annoying.

But you know what is a simple solution? Catch him off guard. That's what I do. He'll be walking and going to play that silly little ocarina when Boom. He's on fire and electrocuted. You know what else he is? Dead. Just keep at it and eventually he'll be too angry to continue.

Unless if they save and continue playing....

*drools*

Pfft, Ganon, at least you didn't get sealed into a maaaaaaaagic sword then waiting for some idiot to break you out for centuries only to be sucked back into that sword and is never seen again. I don't get any reincarnations like you do! You have it easy! I wish I was sealed in the sacred realm instead of that sword where there is little to no space! I'm surprised my joints didn't lock up after being stuck in there.

You had Hyrule under your thumb for seven years. I only had it for one year! And that stupid tight wearing kid was still running around messing up my plans while in your time he was sleeping! I'd give anything to have that kid go to sleep for seven years!

Oh please, Vaati. you think you had it tough? You don't know the meaning of tough. The Sky Child was on my tail for the entire time I had the Sky Maiden.

And you all complaining about swords. I AM a sword, yet without a master. do you know how it makes me feel every day, to know that I am a weapon without a hand to weird it? FURIOUS! OUTRAGED! SICK WITH ANGER!!!

I want to revive my master so I can finally have purpose again. Is that so bad? Lost animals find their ways back to their owners, so why is it suddenly a bad thing that I want to return to mine?

Trust me, you two had it easy.

...So let me get this straight...you want to revive your master to help your masterbate...you can't do that yourself?

This is absolutely beautiful.

You're just jealous because you don't got what I'm packing.

Not my fault you implied yourself to be a giant penis

Because of me, the Master Sword exists. Give me a little credit, would you? And besides, if I wanted to imply that, I would have said "shaft" and not sword.

Oh yeah! Sure! Lets just BRAG about how we were the reason that infernal sword was created! That makes us look real big and bad!

At the same time. Because of the Master Sword, you have left the rest of them, a chain of legendary heroes to strike the bigger guys down. Makes them stronger. More annoying too. And hard to kill.

Not for me, though.

Hey, at least the goddess Hylia found me to be enough of a threat that she had to create the accursed thing. I don't see the Golden Goddesses or the Sages making a weapon or something to combat JUST you, now do I?

Eh-herm? Golden Light Arrows? Hello? Hell, even Vaati's got that Four Sword thing going on.

I hate it when non-fairy's lock me away in dungeons. They're obviously jealous of my fairy superiority. Also, when my fairy slaves friends complain when they turn the wheels to my super fun fairy tower.
Also, decoding maps for SOOOO CHEAP.
Guys like me gotta make a living, you know?

Ganondorf, you wouldn't even exist if it wasn't for my master, so I think you should give me his hatred back, so I can go about reviving him.

You know what I hate? Being second in charge.

A few of you probably understand. You know, when that pesky hero thinks you're top dog, but then your boss decided to speak up? You lose all your respect and suddenly the hero thinks he can easily take you down.

I hate that.

I'm me, he's he. No connection I swear! I like my swords like I like my minions. Not talking!

I mean, look at Nabooru! A model minion! Never talks, never complains. Never does much of anything with out my ok! She would NEVER betray me and some how lead to my inevitable downfall!

Be more like her and then your Master's reincarnation might actually consider wielding you!

OH SNAP!


But yeah, can't say I've ever had that happen to me BEN. But Vaati has! Wink wink FourSwords Adventure wink!

Ugh, I wouldn't want you to wield me anyway! I may be looking for a master to use me, but you sully the good name of Demise. I wouldn't even let you touch me, let alone use me out in the thick of battle.

…. *Helps Dark Link post notes saying “Free to Good any home: One Ganondorf Slightly used. Contact: Ganondorf” Everywhere in his castle*

Another thing, and I know you guys can't relate but.

It's very annoying when you have to transform, just because Link did. Quite an inconvenience.

At least you guys get appreciated as an actual threat. More often than not, I get dumped working for one of you.

Especially you, Ganon. I swear, if I didn't have so much to gain from working for you I would have left long ago.

Aww, why so upset? Can't take a little failure?
You grownups aren't any fun