The Thread of Laughs

Think your a comedian? Then the stage is yours. Just keep the jokes within the rules.


Make sure your car windows are down before jumping through them.

"HEY, IS YOUR REFRIGERATOR RUNNING? IT'S NOT? Ohhh... *mumbles to next person* It's not... It's not... running... i dunno what to do... *sez back into phone* You... have have a good day now. *click*"

"Hey, caspian." "Yeah, Link?" "did you know earthworms can s*** out their a**?" "...WOW, I WISH I COULD DO THAT, LINK!" "*laughing really hard* I meant their mouth! THEIR MOUTH!"

"If you lost 10 pounds and trimmed your sideburns, you could be my boyfriend." "If I did that, then i'd be talknig to your friends over there."

"The magic stairs stoped working! D:"

A good friend would go with you to buy a pregnacy test

A Best friend would stand outside the bathroom stall, yelling, "NAME IT AFTER ME!"

Remember kids: Never play guitar hero with your dad while he's driving.

DOWN WITH SHAMPOO! WE WANT THE REALPOO!

LOLOL

"If you're happy and you know it, punch the clown"

"If you're happy and you know it, that's a sin..." ~ That's what they sing in Private Schools.

"If you join us, well give you a muffin"

"IS IT A CORN MUFFIN?!"

"No, but it has bluberries on it"

"THEN IT IS USELESS TO ME!!"

LOL I remember seeing one PlayStation commercial where a desperate father sees a playstation owner holding the dad's wife. Also, remember PS3's logo, It Only Does Everything

IT ONLY DOES YOUR WIFE

I would have a comeback for that, but I don't think your worth it. But please note that I do have a comeback, I just not going to use it on you since your not worth it. oh but just you wait and see....

Please note: NSFW. Contains curses, hopefully the censors are up and running. It's not my fault, this is /b/ we're talking about.
Hey /b/, I have a very serious problem. I’m F@#$ crying because of how stupid I am.

Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 minutes. I figured “cool, I’ll just play Pokemon while I wait”.

So I’m playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she finally does show up, except she’s crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I get into a random encounter in my game.

A shiny pidgey. Holy s*Navi*t. (For those of you who don’t know/care, shiny Pokemon have less than a 1/1,000 chance of appearing; 1/8192 to be exact.). I stare into my screen in amazement, yelling “holy s*Navi*t, YES”, interrupting her mid-story. She sobs more, and she starts to yell “You don’t even F@#$ care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR F@#$ GAME!” I’m still looking at my screen, still focusing on catching my shiny Pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny Pidgey, gone forever.

I start screaming every obscenity I know, and started flailing my arms around. I didn’t know she was behind me, and apparently I backhanded her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells out “F@#$ YOU”, and runs out of my house in tears.

What have I done? I’ve F@#$ up so badly, and I need to know how to approach her. I don’t want a game of Pokemon to be responsible for ruining my best relationship ever. Help me, /b/.


------------------------------
Anonymous: what pokemon did you start with.



Ah, /b/tards. Gotta love them.

wow... thats really really sad..... no offense to you but i think your girlfriend is worth more than a shiny pidgey... and you could have just put the DS on sleep mode and caught it when you came back.

Ode to Science Class
Writen by Me
(to the tune of "The Sound of Music)

The Hills are alive
with the sound of moaning
oh how I hate
my science class
my heart will be barfing
to the sound of MR Slater
Teaching me about Genetics

Silver's Epic song, by SilverRevlis (sing to Breakin the Law, by Judas priest)

*Epic Guitar riff*
"There he was completely bored...
decided to find time to kill!"
"And he joined Hyrule field, and decided it was fine...
then his user name is SilverRevlis!!

TYPIN' THIS SONG!
TYPIN' THIS SONG!
*Repeat line 3 times*

"and he gotten the rank of Italy and has over 7k rupees!
then he may just outrank! everyone he knows!
MW, she might just ruin this song!

-go back to Typin' this song and do it again-

*guitar solo*
*end*

The hills have eyes in Mario

lol SR, you're gonna be made fun of (eventually)

Life is ike a toilette, and you should know why.

(I thought you and T-kun already torment me >>)

alright:

"A captain on a ship gets shot in the chest and yells out: quick! get me my red shirt!" "why?" another crew member asks, "so I could still look Valiant in battle." Then the captain gets his red shirt, then another crew member shouts out: "CAPTAIN! the enemy has a bigger fleet than us!" then the captain says: "get me my brown pants."

EWWW xDDD

Ok, Caspian told this joke in the Chatbox so credit goes to him.

Ed: You sure it's fine?"
Winry: Yep. Your automail is as good as new..Oh, but you might want to practice on a hotdog first. You don't want to rip it off.

Okay true story.

Today when I logged on I relized the advitisments were somehow one and mine said:
"Justin Bieber has a crush on you! Click here to learn more" Everyone it's officail: Justin Bieber is a lesbien

Dear Snow White,
You were supposed to learn from my mistake!
Sincerely, Eve.

2 guys walk into a bar, the 3rd one ducks

Dear ____________ (noun),
Please ____________(verb).

Sincerely, Mad Libs.

So this blond was watching the news and saw that two brazillian guys died in a surfing accident. She turned to her friend and said, "Oh my! How much is a brazillian?!"